To do or not to do

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15

I think these words of Paul pretty much sums up what I'm feeling right now. I also now understand why it goes on to say he feel "wretched" (well in the NIV version anyway). I want to do God's will. I want to live for Him. But I keep doing stupid things and making stupid decisions. I know what I should be doing, so why? Why can't I get myself to do it. I really hate being the way I am.

God I just wish I could move on to feeling "more than conquereous" like in Romans 8. I want to move on... I really do...

I guess I should be glad that I feel all this guilt over the stupid things I do. It's a sign of someone who's a "slave to righteousness". Being a slave, I guess I can't help but want to do what it right.

God I really need your strength. As I make the choices that lead to holiness, I pray that the power of your salvation will help me to stick to what is right. I keep falling down, over and over again. But I pray you'll help me to stand up again and keep running for You. In the name of my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Amen.